Blog has been moved to Myspace

This will be my last blog on blogger. I've been having too many problems loading pictures and posting blogs onto this site...which is why there hasn't been a post in awhile. However, I have been using and will continue to use myspace for pictures, blogs, and prayer requests...so please check that out. My address is..www.myspace.com/kristylorfeld. Thanks for reading!!!

Ramblings on the Thoughts and Life of Kristy Lorfeld

As I'm reading some of my past blogs, I realize that I've been horrible with this blogging thing this month. I would blame it on the Christmas cards, but I didn't send them out this year...I think everyone is just going to get a Christmas email newsletter instead. But I haven't written it yet, so in the mean time you just get to read this random blog. Today I've been thinking a lot about a woman's role...in the church and in society. I think I have a little feminism inside of me (but I still do shave my legs everyday...so I guess I can't be a total feminist yet). When someone tells me that I can't do something because "it's a man's job," or even worse, if someone tells me that I have to do something because "it's a woman's job," I go crazy. I think more about this now that I live in Latin America, where sex roles are a lot more definied than in the United States. Maybe that's my problem, I don't want to put myself in a box and have my life defined based on my gender, race, nationality, or anthing else. I just want to be me. I don't want people to expect things of me and not appreciate it because people think "that's just her role in society." So, where am I going with this? In the LCMS, women cannot be pastors. Honestly, I've been struggling with this one for years because I don't think it's such a black and white topic. At the same time, I don't want to okay it based on my own thinking (Let's face it, God's a lot smarter than me...I know I'm a close second). On one side, God has given men and women different characteristics both physically (shocking!) and emotionally on purpose from the very beginning. Paul also talks some about a woman's role in worship in the New Testament, however I have also heard different interpretations from various theologians that I respect very much. On the other side, I have known some great women pastors. Who am I to say that God did not give them those gifts? The Bible also speaks of great women leaders, such as Deborah, who was the leader of Israel for many years as a judge. And then I look at this world and see that there just aren't enough pastors. In China, I attended two worship services with women as the pastors. In countries where people are sometimes risking their lives to be pastors so that others will know about Jesus Christ, can I really sit back and say, "Those women shouldn't be pastors."? God is doing amazing work through those women. Hmmm...I'm kind of curious about all your thoughts about all of this. Whoo..I could get a good debate going. OK...so now on to what I've been actually doing the last week or two instead of what I've been thinking. Since it's a week before Christmas, I don't have any English classes or Spanish classes. So I've had some nice free time, but it's also been a week full of graduations (The school year ends in December). These graduations are in the morning, get started late, and seem to drag on. Today was Yamilla's graduation, Tuesday was Hazel's graduation, and tomorrow is Heidi's graduation. Today I took Romeo to the vet to get his puppy shots and I found out that he has an ear infection. While my Spanish is still not good, I am becoming a lot more independent and comfortable trying to use what I know (like going to the vet on my own). Good news! My Christmas package finally arrived today from my parents! It's been sitting in customs for like 1 1/2 weeks. I ordered a camera that got sent to my parent's house and my parents put it in my huge package...so I'm excited that I finally have a camera again after a month of not being able to take pictures. Bad news...I had to pay $108 to get it because of the weight. So lesson being learned...don't ship anything to Panama through Air Box...is very expensive for me. Also, if the packages are small and don't weigh much...it's also good because many times they won't open it to see what's inside. Yesterday Thomas, Jaime, Jeramed, Yader, and I spent the day at the beach. I now have a little color to me. You'd think that after 3 1/2 months of living so close to the equator I would be tan...but I'm never outside during the times of tanning. But that's okay...I just won't have skin cancer later on in life and I'll look 30 when I'm really 50, like my mom (although my mom is just celebrating another year of being 29). After the beach, I went over to Los Andes to help Yader pack for Nicaragua (He'll be gone for almost a month). Wait...correction, I didn't help...I was the one packing for him. So back to the woman's roles...I kind of liked packing for Yader, I'm good at it, I liked helping him, I felt needed, and it was fun, but I don't like the idea that as a woman I'm suppossed to be the one to pack for the man. Can you women relate to this? Then after packing, we had to run to drop his keys off, went out for dinner, and chilled at my place while we waited for Ruthie and Pastor Henry to come back from the airport, picking up their son (Yader was staying over at their house). My goodness...this is getting long again. Is anyone still reading this? I really need to blog more so that these aren't so long. Okay, I'm only going to tell about one more day...or at least one more night. Tuesday night I went to a Kareoke bar with Jaime, Thomas, Yader, Jeramed, Chris, Becky, and Becky's husband, brother-in-law, and brother-in-law's girlfriend. Becky, Chris, Thomas, and I did a little "Love Shack". (haha...that sounds a little dirty...but I'm just talking about singing the song people) Towards the end of the night, Jaime and I got on stage to do who better than a little Britney Spears...singing "Oops I Did it Again". Fun times, fun times. Well, thanks for reading friends. I'm seriously going to try to do a little better at blogging. Feliz Navidad

An emotional roller coaster

It's been way too long since I've last written a blog...so much has happened in the past month. November has been a roller coaster of emotions for me to the point that I was starting to think I was becoming bipolar. Okay, not really and I guess I shouldn't joke around like that since many people actually do struggle with that disease. After much prayer and tears, Jon and I decided to break up. This was one of the hardest decisions for the both of us. For awhile now, we have been taking a break (I guess a huge distance break as well since we now live in different countries), trying to figure out where God was leading the both of us. Looking back, I think we both knew for a long time that our lives were going in seperate directions, but the thought of breaking up was so scarey. This was the first long term relationship for the both of us (almost 4 years) and we have grown so much in those years. However, we're finding out that instead of growing together, we've been growing apart. But I'm seriously okay now and feel a lot of peace. I have great friends here in Panama that have lent me a shoulder to cry on (aka..Jaime) for support. So once again, my plans for the future seem to be changing. I have no idea where God is leading me next. It's exciting and very scarey for me. I've been praying a lot about whether or not I should stay here another year, or maybe God is leading me to career mission work. Or is there something else God has planned? I've still never let go of the idea of possibly starting a Christian music venue. I'm thinking about getting my master's degree in non profit management or some sort of international studies. At times I wish God would just let me know...but then I think, "What's the fun in that?" If God would let me know my whole future at once, I wouldn't have the wonderful ability to dream...which I believe is a gift from God. So all of this dream talk reminds me of a book called "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. Very rarely do I recommend books, but seriously this one is a good one. And speaking of books, lately I've been in the reading mode (go ahead and laugh Jaime). Now that I'm done with school, I'm actually starting to read and enjoy it again...it's been years since that has happened. So since Christmas is coming up and my birthday is the next month (hint hint...January 30)...I know you're all looking to get me Christmas presents...so feel free to send me your favorite books friends.

Fear

Fear is apart of our lives and if we aren't careful, it will start to take control of us. Fear causes people to not step in air planes, not get into the water, not travel to the other side of the world (or to a different part of your very own city), not talk to someone different, not apply for a certain job because of fear of rejection, and not get married because a fear of divorce. We see statistics that scare us and then we start living in fear, afraid to get out of our comfort zone. When this occurs, we miss out on so much of God's beauty and blessings. Sure, God gave us a brain to make wise decisions, but how often do we find ourselves living a life based on statistics instead of living a life that God intended us to live? Fear terrorizes us because of the existence of evil in this world. It's no coincidence that fear became a part of human existence at the same time evil came into human existence. One of the benefits of building a close relationship with God is the destruction of fear that is rooted in our lives. Throughout the Bible, God continues to reasure His people. Genesis 15:1 says: "After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: 'Do not be afraid, Abram, I am your shield, your very great reward.'" God gives us courage in times of fear, knowing that God will stay with us in difficult times. I have experienced so many fears here in Panama. By the grace of God, some of them I have overcame like getting on the plane. Others, I daily struggle with like fully following God into my unknown future instead of trying to control God and the people I love. On days like today when fear tries to control my life and a person that I love and I don't understand why things are happening the way that they are...I hold onto the same Word that God told Joshua, "Have I not commanded you? 'Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you whereever you go.'"

Beach Pictures

Beach Day

Today is Panama's Independence Day, which means Jaime, Thomas, and I got the day off to head to the beach. After two months in Panama, I finally went to the beach! You'd think that since I live within walking distance to the ocean, I'd be at the beach more often...however, there are no beaches close to where I live because the water is polluted. Two friends were supposed to come with us, but one has been sick (please pray for Anna) and the other one had to watch her cousin last minute this weekend. Sad! But we still had a great time. It was so hot here today, which made it a great day for the beach. However, when we got to the second beach, the lifeguards weren't letting anyone in the water. Apparently, the waves were much too strong. So after waiting around in the hot sun just staring at the water and seeing way too many thongs and speedos (I'll spare you the pictures), we were finally able to go in. (The lifeguards were right, the waves were very strong...too strong to really swim) Oh, I forgot to mention...I also took Romeo to the beach. He was seriously the center of attention...a little Mac Daddy. I got some great pictures of him, which will be great to put into the "Puppy's First Year" scrapbook that my mom sent me in a care package yesterday (Romeo got puppy vitamins, a scrapbook, and a toy. What did I get? A bunch of letters saying that I have to begin paying my student loans this month...ugh...well, I also got PB M&Ms [I miss peanut butter and chocolate down here] and another charm for my bracelet...so that made up for the student loans stuff) Well, I'm exhausted. Shouldn't the beach rejuvenate me instead of make me tired? But seriously, today was a lot of fun.

The following is a blog that I wrote on Sunday. However, this website somehow shut me down from posting it. I've also updated the picture slideshow, so take a look at that as well. So it's been quite awhile since I've written a blog. What have you been doing this week with the extra time on your hands. But now I'm back and I have an extra long detailed blog about my Friday. So my Friday started out pretty normal, waking up in the morning and going to Spanish class. Nothing too interesting at this point. After class Jaime, Thomas, and I headed to the mall for some shopping for some new clothes since our plan was to go to the discoteca later on that night with Yaravi after a dance competition. Shopping for pants is so hard here in Panama. Not only am I tall, but it's also hard to find clothes that will fit me in the waist. The sizes are way different from in the United States. I understand that it is hard to find pants long enough since I'm the tallest woman in Panama that I know. However, I don't think I'm that fat of a girl compared to the rest of the Panamanians. I've seen my share of thick people here (not as many as in the United States though). I finally did find two pairs of cute jeans after my self-esteem was shattered (I'm 3 sizes bigger here than in the US). On our way out of the mall, we ran into two former missionaries, Chris and Becky, who decided to stay in Panama. Chris took a job with another organization, teaching English and Becky married a Panamanian man so I think she's here for good. It was my first time actually meeting either one of them. We got home and I had a couple hours to relax with my puppy. I can't believe how big he's growing. He's also shedding. I'm not too pleased with that since he's part poodle and cockapoos aren't suppossed to shed. Oh well, he's still a keeper. Very cute! At 4:00, Yaravi came over with his motorcycle to pick us up to go to La Chorrera. Since it was sunny out when we left, I hopped on his motorcycle while Thomas and Jaime followed us in the car. It wasn't until we were going a little faster that I realized that my helmet was very loose and I couldn't fix it. It's a good thing we didn't get into an accident because I don't think that helmet would have stayed on my head if I flew off the bike. About 15 or so minutes into the drive it started to rain. I had the chance to get off the motorcycle and jump into the car, but I thought to myself, "What's a little sprinkle going to do to me?" So I stayed on the bike and about a minute later the sprinkle turned into a downpour for the rest of the ride. I was one soaked girl when I got to Yaravi's house in La Chorrera. After turning down dry clothes (I figured I'd dry off fast enough), waiting for Yaravi to change, and watching Thomas dance with a mop in Yaravi's living room turned dance studio, we left for the dance competition. We arrived at the high school where the competition was going to be held just to find out that Yaravi got the time wrong and they wouldn't be starting for a few more hours. Oh, I think I forgot to mention that one of his high school students was competing in this competition. At the time we had no idea of what all the competition would entail...but I'll get back to that later. So since we had a little time on our hands, Yaravi took us to this place in La Chorrera that is famous for its chichemes (a popular Panamanian drink that I'm not too fond of). But while I was there, I ran into two of my students. (This week I've been running into people everywhere it seems like. It makes me feel more at home in Panama when things like this happen) I also had a chance to talk to Morman missionaries and a homeless man. We still had more time on our hands, so Yaravi took us to his sister's house. While we were there, we found out that another bus had exploded earlier on that day. Thank God no one died. However, earlier on in the week there was a bus that exploded that killed 18 people. So after some good conversation and great apple juice, I was starting to get cold from still being wet. Seriously, who get's cold in Panama? ME! So Yaravi finally conviced me to change my shirt, so once again we stopped by his place. He tried to convince me to change my pants since he's about the same size as me. However, after the low self-esteem shopping spree experience I had earlier, I wasn't prepared to find out that I'm too fat for his clothes. Remember, this is a guy who lifted me and flipped me during dancing. If I failed to fit into his clothes, there would be no more lifts or flips. I continued to wear wet jeans, but at least I was dry from the waist up. We finally made it to the competition. I had no idea this was going to be such a big event! There were thousands of people in this gym. I'm sure if we were in the States, there would have been fire code violations ten times over. So picture screaming teenagers at a pop concert/homecoming game/pagent with hundreds of blow horns, a big band, and loud speakers. Are your ears ringing yet? Do you have a headache just thinking about it? It was seriously that loud. After a lot of waiting, the competition finally began. Since the competition was all on the floor of the gym (no stage), it was very hard to see. The first round was Tipico dancing (a Panamanian dance). At this time Jaime, Thomas and I were ready to get out of there but Yaravi told us to stay for the next round, which was the Choreographed dance. I was so impressed. Each of the six dancers in the competition had about 15 (give or take) back up dancers to help them out. Even though it was still hard to see, I'm glad we stayed because each girl was fantastic. Jaime looked at me and asked me where all these male dancers (back up dancers) came from. The Choreographed dances kind of reminded me of the days in high school when I danced on the dance team and we competitions...except these dancers were much better. I love that almost everyone can dance here in Panama. With a couple more rounds to go, we finally left. The noice and the crowd was a little much. We didn't actually make it to the discoteca. One of these days. So there you have it. That was my day in too much detail. You probably feel like you were actually there with me. I hope you enjoyed the day as much as I did. Maybe we can do it again sometime.

Make video montages at onetruemedia.com

My new love - Romeo Falcor

So if you've been reading my blog, you know that Friday was a very sad day for me. After a night of excitment, thinking that I'd be picking up my new dog Friday afternoon, I found out that the dog was sold someone else. I was so mad. Jaime however came over and we had girls movie and mudslide night. Saturday came. I was still sad about the dog, but six girls from Loma Cova took my mind off of the dog situation when we played volleyball and rode six passanger bikes. Fun times. Later that night, I went to Loma Cova for church. by kristylorfeld by kristylorfeld While still being sad about not having a puppy, I went to La Chorrera for church. This is the smallest Lutheran congregation in Panama. There were a total of seven in attendence. After the service, Anna took us to see a waterfall nearby and then Thomas, Jaime and myself spent the next few hours visiting Sally (our secretary who just accepted another position at another company) and her family. I cannot lie, her five year old daughter made my day when she sang the Hippo Song. Monday I had Spanish class and then I checked the classifieds. 4 week cockapoos for sale. After driving for 2 1/2 hours, trying to find the house (and accidentally going to a wrong house), I finally got my new puppy. He is so cute! He kind of reminds me of Falcor, the flying dog on the Neverending Story. Romeo Falcor is his name. I'm not lonely anymore! by kristylorfeld